its like reality....only better.

I have the craziest dreams sometimes. They make zero sense and i forget them instently, but sometimes there's dreams where they make me wish things were like that in reality. I dream about things i just heard or learned the day before and it gets twisted in my dreams. I learned about these things old people have to have sometimes if they cant poop. they have this hole cut in their stomachs and a bag is attached to it. It smells horrible and its terrible to think about butin my dream my parents had them and were mentally ill too. It scared me to think that someday that could be my parents....or even me?

whats your accomplishments?

I went to the Y the other day and everything looked the same. Nothings changed. But there was something different i did notice, it was a picture of my grandfather. A huge picture in the hall i never noticed before. I think it was a picture taken at a golfing event for the Y a few years ago. It made me realize how much he's really accomplished. My grandpa's been to africa and lived there for a few years. He's done so much even in our community. His accomplishments rage from anything to helping in africa to helping build bird houses with kids. If youve ever met my grandpa he's not very normal. He's loud, outspoken, odd, and offers to build or fix anything you have. My grandpa's favorite thing to do is build things. anything. If he hasnt made it yet he probably wants to in the future. He's made 3 bikes so far and two of them hold two people at a time and the third one the places where you pedal are higher up so your seat is lower. He makes swings, household things, boats, doll houses, and pretty much anything i think. And to top if off he just bought a sailboat and came over and showed it to me yesterday. I look up to my spontaneous crazy grandfather alot.

..so sleepwalk with me. if we try we can find something real out of make believe

Its okay i can handle it now. I used to be afraid of that drifting away feeling you get when you grow apart from friends. Its useless i found out, to be so consumed by your friends that your afraid youll lose them by doing nothing at all? If thats all it takes to lose a friend..i can do it very well. I always think my friends thoughts are the same as mine but they never are. I dont realize when we grow apart or when were in a fight even half the time. I just always thought we're friends we'll always be there for eachother. no extras no special anythings. that was the bottom line you need me im there. But when drifting comes you never really have that same feeling between your friends anymore and you all sorta give up and let it happen. I used to be afraid of that 'drifting'.. it's okay i can handle it now.

Life....**

life is beauty, admire it.

life is bliss, taste it.

life is a dream, realize it.

life is a challenge, meet it.

life is a duty, complete it.

life is a game, play it.

life is a promise, fulfill it.

life is sorrow, overcome it.

life is a song, sing it.

life is a struggle, accept it.

life is a tragedy, confront it.

life is an adventure, dare it.

life is luck, make it.

life is too precious, do not destroy it.

life is life, fight for it.

sometimes i wonder..

you come home. everything is the same. nothings ever different. you re arrange things but still nothing changes. why do we try so hard sometimes to change our surroundings? do they bring back bad memories? are we just bored with our lives? this 'roller coaster' of my life is very dull right now and re arranging my room doesnt do much ha. wheres the excitement? wheres the fun in being young? because it only seems stressful to me to be young.

bullying..

im completely obsessed with this thought of school bullying. it scares me and makes me cringe whenever i read the stuff going on to this girl in my book. kids hold her down and beat her, they put lit cigerettes on her wrists and burn her because she had ratted some of their friends out for bullying her which only made her get more hurt.....it was extremely hard to relate to when i started to it

One of the boys on the Northwest's football team saw me as I was making my way to the front entrance to wait for my mom. I heard something and looked back over my shoulder. Fifteen football players were behind me. "Maybe they're just going to their lockers," I reasoned to myself. I picked up my pace. So did they. Then, I was being chased down the hall. I bolted out the door, thinking my mom would be there. She wasn't. Four of the boys restained me, two of them forced open my jaw, and others began shoving fistfuls of snow into my mouth. I couldn't breathe. I flailed my arms furiously, trying to fend them off. They were laughing so hard that they didn't hear me choking for air. I couldn't speak to let them know they had gone too far. Finally, Jim yelled, "Hey, you guys, I think she's gagging!" With that released me and ran off.

That's from the book im reading called Please stop laughing at me. It's about school bullying and a lot of the events in it seem almost unreal thats how bad it is. In our school i dont really notice bullying like that going on. I think in our school its very strict so the only bullying going on in school is just verbal most of the time. I dont really have time to write more so ill write about this later.