You found the one thing i cant do for you

I like trying to plan out my future whether its close or not to what actually happens. Sometimes i wish my actions could be as big as my thoughts or ideas i have. Why cant i ever seem to be as confident as i want to be or try to be? Why is it when the people i try to impress the most barely even see or notice me? I think im always chasing things i cant have or wont work. I dont understand why i do..maybe i think i can change something or itll be different. im not quite sure where i was going with that but its difficult wanting something you know you have to keep your distance from and cant do anything about it. Which makes me think about my future like i started with..what if i could get it and everything could fall into place. i guess it all takes time, im just afraid that time will come and pass and that opportunity will be gone before i even get to try