living in the past

I live in the past alot. I think about the 'what ifs'. Think about it i mean what we did in the past now defines who we are and where our future is going. I always think about how different things would be...like what if i never met half the people i consider my friends now, would i act differently? How would i view them if id never gotten to know them? I wish i didnt live in the past so much and focus so much of my energy on it and more on my future but its easier for me to see things that have already happened and already know and understand them then to think about the future...something i know nothing about and have no idea what it holds for me. My past led me to where i am today, our memories and achievements are in the past..all we have now are goals. If i could ever actually change something in my past i wonder if i would though? Play it out differently..make it go the way i wanted but i guess i wouldnt because then there'd be no mystery in life and nothing worth living for if we knew everything that was coming. Theres alot going through my head right now about my past and future but i cant really grasp it all and put it into words enough to make sense.


-We do not remember days; we remember moments.

Sister sally:)

i only have one sister and i feel pretty luck to know i got sally..growing up i wanted to be like her, look like her, act like her, basically i kept her on a high pedestal i looked up to her on. i think ive always looked up to my sister for as long as i can remember but if she was your sister you probably would too...she's beautiful, smart, athletic,kind but shes a complete perfectionist. its hard for me because sometimes i feel like im trying to fill her shoes and its impossible. when i was little she was on dance team and all these amazing outfits she got to wear, i was in aww everytime i saw her dance. The loud music made me excited and then she'd come out and id make me so proud i got to be her sister, i wanted to be just like her. She was also in volleyball...a setter. As you can see theres a pattern going on here that im in all the basic things she was in. my sister to me is the most gorgeous person. im amazed at how she's handled these last few years with her husband, its been a roller coaster of a ride for her and it showed me how strong she really was.. and it just gives me another reason why i wanna be like her. i know shes not perfect and shes made mistakes but with all her accomplishments i see; her flaws seem almost invisible to me.

Homecoming!!

It is probably one of my most favorite parts of the whole school year! one week to show off your school spirit and not caring about how dumb you look. All leading up to the big homecoming football game we've been getting all pepped up for. i dont see why we cant do that every week we have a home football game ha. im sure we'd win more games that way. Homecoming king's and queen's..pranks on other grades,on the highschool..senior banquet..makes me so much more excited for when im a senior. everythings great but we lost the game:( and our grad year isnt to cute... 1 1 1 1 1 1 1............ughhhh?

bye bye summer:(

Summer went by absolutely to fast!!! im already missing those late nights and lazy days. i miss terrible tubing experiences that almost killed me. It needs to come back Now. im not ready for summer to be over and school to start. i dont want late nights...that are for homework:/
but schools here anyways and my summer had a pretty good ending to it so oh well.
08-09 sophomore hello:)

busy mind right now

so i have alot on my mind right now...mostly what i have for homework. which is math, these blogs, history, a video i havent had time to do yet for video production and my 500 word paper on what god means to me i need to do for conformation. i also keep thinking about our dance routine that were doing tomorrow at the pepfest so hopefully it goes well! To top it off ive got early volleyball practice tomorrow 630 am baby! im sure ill look and smell great for school then :)
So this paper for church...its suppose to be a huge deal and sum up what god means to us then read it in front of our church. its hard because i dont know exactly what or how to start it. i know what god means to me but having to explain it and how he came into my life isnt easy and i struggle to figure out exactly when that time was.
Me and ariel decided to teach sunday school this year for the 5th grade class....not going so well so far. theyre all extremely obnoxious and rude. They didnt even tell us what to do or teach so we played the name game for about the whole hour. I doubt we would have done this if we were told they were going to be like this:/ 2nd week down rest of the year to go.